Bach’s Chaconne, the fifth and final movement from his Partita in D Minor, is probably the most important piece of music in my life. I remember 2014, all that year listening to it in the quiet of night, night after night. It was a period of strange grief. My teacher Ken, an enigmatic, joyful and …
Continue reading A Reflective Essay on Grief, Music and Healing
Problems can be very, very instructive in helping us find more peace and inner security. How is this the case? Well, problems, especially big ones, often lead to feelings of despair and helplessness, where we don’t know where to turn, what to do, or how to respond. Problems bring us to our edge, to a …
To truly love, to love in a way that speaks to our highest potential and deepest need, one cannot help but veer into territory that may be called spiritual, that is, touching realms of selflessness, openness of heart, intuitive recognition, tenderness, care, and a willingness to understand, to go beyond self and ego, above all …
One thing I often tell my clients, especially when they are in the throes of challenging circumstances for which there are no easy answers, is that it is important to keep the big picture in mind. In other words, to try to see issues or challenges within the context of a larger, more inclusive journey. …
Perhaps the most shocking insight someone can come to in the healing process, otherwise defined as restoring the mind to wholeness, is the recognition that you are never, ever, dealing with people out there. There is no one out there. It only seems that way. You go outside and see people. You work and go …
Pain, death, murder, torture and the sickness of hate. None of us are immune to the effects of these things. Whether or not we have directly participated in, or have been the victims of the darkened aspects of life, the rotting scent of our diseased humanity affects us all.
Becoming comfortable with uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, memories and emotions is the essential aspect of the healing journey. Though this may come in different forms at different places and times, the lesson is always the same: We must bring back within what we have shut off, closed down, and barricaded ourselves against. At the outset this …
Therapy is not simply talking about your problems. To be sure, this is an important part of the process. Wading through the difficult content of your life is necessary to establish a working understanding of how your experiences are impacting you. At some point, however, if true healing is what you are looking for, then …
Continue reading Therapy: It’s not just discussing your problems
Sometimes we need to be cracked open. Sometimes this is the only way. Sometimes the depth and breadth of our innermost potential can only be manifest through a piercing of the veil of ourselves, of who we believe we were, toward a new understanding, a revelation, of who we actually are.
Most of the things that we believe will make us happy won’t; true healing involves giving up the insistence that we know what's best. Darkness is part of the human experience. To become comfortable with our own darkness is part and parcel of growing up. Much of our psychological and emotional pain comes from denying …
Continue reading Some things I believe about psychotherapy, life and healing
Nick Bustos, PhD, LMFT 